Thursday, November 25, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing you and yours a blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy your loved ones, yummy eats, and remember to look back on this past year and be thankful for all the wonderful blessings you've received ~ big or small!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hello Friend

Have you ever discovered a book that you've read before but had forgotten about? You decide, "I think I'll read this puppy again", and then open it, start reading, and feel like you've been reunited with a old friend.

The other day I unpacked a few of our boxes that had many of our hardback books inside. Hubby and I like to keep our hardback books if they were given to us as gifts, or if we really enjoyed it. Normally, we would donate books we've read or take them to a used books store to earn credit. So I pulled out all these book, most my hubby's, since he is the huge reader in our family. I stacked them on the coffee table, because that's what I do, make piles. When he got home I asked him to go through his books and decide if there were any he wanted to donate to make room. He kept the majority of them since they were pretty much his collection of Stephen King novels that he loved as a teenager and young adult. But he pulled out a few of mine and low and behold there it was... my old friend, "My Sergi".

If you have never heard of My Sergi it is a true love story of russian pairs skaters Ekaterina Gordeeva and Sergi Grinkov. Sergi Grinkov died by a fatal heart attack in 1995 during a routine training session, in front of his wife and partner Ekaterina ~ Katia. It is truly a loving tribute to her husband.

As a young teenager and young adult I use to love to watch the two perform. Watching in 1988 when they first won their Olympic Gold Medals, then later in 1994 Olympics', and then various televised competitions and programs. They skated so beautifully, and what girl doesn't love finding out that the two had fallen in love, and eventually married. His death was so very tragic ~ he was 29, a beautifully strong athlete. It was hard for everyone to believe that he died, and of a heart attack. When I saw that Katia had written a book I told my Hubby, at the time he was my boyfriend, that I really wanted it. That year, for Christmas I received it from his folks as a Christmas gift.

It's been quite sometime since I last read it, and I was debating weather I should hold on to it or donate. I thought "I'll just give it a read" to make my final decision. So that night I started to read it as the boys were watching a movie, and then spent the next day reading, and finished it. I tend to do that if I'm really into a book. I zone out, forget my duties around the house, and just read! Hubby came home yesterday to me curled up in a chair, reading My Sergi. I barley even said hi, and he had even brought me a treat home. He was so considerate, and sat there patiently while I finish the last two chapters with my eye's red from crying, and I really wanted to cry towards the end, but I held it in since hubby was there. Earlier I was crying my heart out since I was home alone ~ didn't matter how pathetic I looked, no one would know. After I finished, I took a deep breath and sighed. Yep ~ it's a keeper. Even though it is terrible sad, it is also so very sweet, and romantic. A definite keeper and if you love romance and memoirs I recommend you grab a copy with a box of tissues.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Thelma & Louise

So another interesting thing looking back on the old photos was seeing pictures of myself before Thelma & Louise. Thelma & Louise is what I lovingly call my boobs after my breast augmentation that I had done in June of 2005. I didn't blog then nor did I even know what blogging was, but it would of been nice to read about others experiences with augmentation, so I thought I would share mine.

My breast size was something that had always bothered me as a young teenager. While my friends and I all started at the same size, 32 A, I stayed there as they moved on. Though I was always very petite in in high school, weighing only 90lbs, the size of my breast made it really hard to find any sort of clothing that would fit correctly on top, especially bikini tops. I was terribly insecure, with my boney body and flat chest. I always thought that eventually my body would catch up to everyone else and I would finally grow into a slim curvy women. Never happened. So I really dreamed about the alternative, someday to get breast implants.

Life went on. I fell in love, and married my hubby. At the time, weeks before my wedding, my best friend from childhood and I were at the mall, and she told me that she was getting augmentation. I was a little surprised because I thought she looked great as she was, but even though her breast were bigger, she too was insecure about their size. "I would do it in a heartbeat if I could afford it" I told her.

A few years after being married I got pregnant with 9, and my body started to change, and I LOVED it! I was gaining weight, my breasts were growing and getting fuller. Then my good ole belly out grew my breasts, but I was still amazed that I, 32A, was wearing a 32C! After I had 9 my breast still stayed big for a short time while I breast feed, and then they shrunk back to normal as well as my body, and then some. After being pregnant with 6, same thing happened. Big full breasts, after breast feeding, not so big full breasts anymore. In fact, now my breast were a -A! The only thing that stuck out were my nipples. All of the breast tissue I had disappeared, though only my hubby knew. I still wore my 32A padded bras, but I was completely flat chested! Talk about insecurities! My breast were not an issue to my hubby, they were only an issue to me.

Two years later after 6's birth we were financially able to really consider the augmentation. I was constantly watching plastic surgery shows. My hubby and I were researching on the internet for surgeons and looking at before an after pictures. Then one of my neighbors had plastic surgery herself. She had gained a considerable amount of weight between her two pregnancies and was able to lose it all and more but it left her with really loose skin and deflated, sagging breasts. She ended up having a complete body lift as well as a breast lift and augmentation. After a few months on the mend, I called her and asked if my hubby and I could come talk to her about her experience and doctor since I wanted augmentation myself. We went down to her house and talked about her surgeries, and about her doctor, which she spoke very highly of. She said her augmentation was nothing compared to her body lift, and then asked if we wanted to see her breasts! A little shocked we both said yes, and by God, she whipped those puppies out! I was amazed! Her breasts looked so natural, and her scarring was barely noticeable, and she had keyhole incision marks. I said "You can't even see the scars!" We both were completely sold, and as my hubby put it, she had totally made his day! Lol!

So we made my consultation appointment. The office staff was so very nice. The doctor was nice as well, but totally business like, which our neighbor warned us ahead of time, because her husband was a lot like my hubby and had a sense of humor, which the doctor did not. When we went to my pre-op appointment to pick the size of the implants, our neighbor had warned us, go a little bigger than your first pick ~ the implant is going under your chest muscle. I wanted to be sure that I picked a size that would look natural on my frame, and did not want to go "Pamela Andersen". I ended up picking an implant that would bring my breasts to a C cup, which the doctor agreed, would look natural, and that really my native breast tissue could not handle any more at that time. I still thought ~ "They look huge!" And really thought I should go a little smaller, but hubby reminded me what our neighbor said, and said "you'll look fine honey."

So the big day came. My mom had the boys, and since my hubby could only take a few days off of work, we arranged that my bestie would fly down from Washington and help take care of me and the boys. I was really nervous and so was my hubby. We waited in the waiting room of the surgery center, watching other patients leave, looking groggy and out of it. When they called for me to go in my hubby looked so nervous and we gave each other a quick hug, kiss, and I love you. Later my hubby told me while he was waiting for me he wanted to run to the back and get me out. He said he thought she's not going to look the same, and is it really worth the risk?

The doctor drew all over my breasts and I found out that one breast was larger than the other! Really? No breasts at all and one is larger than the other? I was walked to the prep -room, and then my anesthesiologist came in, gave me a little prick, and then I woke up in recovery. I don't remember much on the ride home, only that I was in pain, and wasn't allowed to take anything until after I was home, which was about an hour and a half away. I'm not going to lie, and paint a pretty picture of recovery ~ it was the worst for me! Now that's not to say it'll be the same experience for anyone else ~ everyone is different. I had never experienced this kind of pain ~ worse than my two c-sections. I didn't realize how much I used my upper body for the littlest things like sitting up! I was totally in the first two days of recovery regretting completely that I had the surgery. I had paid extra to have a pain pump medication right into my breast to minimize the pain as well as the pain meds they had given me. Still I felt horrible! The bandages they had wrapped around my breasts and body were so tight I felt I could hardly breathe. I was a complete mess! The next day I had to go in for my post-op check up. I was wearing one of my hubby's button down shirts, didn't even brush my hair, was slumped over while I was walking as my husband guided me, and had to sit in the waiting room, in front of other women who were coming in for a consult. If I saw me that day for my consult, I would of completely walked right out the door! And would you know it ~ as I was waiting to be seen, another girl who had augmentation the same day as me was leaving ~ full make up on in her Juicy Couture track suit, carrying her little dog, all by herself, as if she never even had surgery!!! I was totally out of it and hardly noticed, but my hubby was pissed! Why is she okay and my wife's a reck? Come to find out later, the Physician assistant said that the patient was high on pain meds, and was not following the doctors orders by driving to the appointment, carrying her dog, and she was exercising to boot, all because she felt so good on her pain meds. Big mistake! Hopefully she did not damage any of the work or cause herself to get a breast infection. Finally they took me back to be examined, the doctor asked me if I felt like a truck had run me over, I'm sure I said yes with a small amount of drool running out of the side of my mouth. My hubby was able to get them to loosen my bandages just a little to make it slightly comfortable, but they needed to stay nice it tight as to not allow any bleeding and to help with bruising.

Each day the pain level got better, and better. It was so nice to have my bestie there to take care of me and my boys. She had made me a quilt and it even had two buttons made to look like boobs in celebration of my surgery. She cooked, she cleaned, she even gave me a pedicure! I wished she could of stayed forever! Finally the big day came for the bandages to come off! It was like Christmas! I was so excited and nervous. Are they going to look okay? Did I make a mistake and am I going to look like a freak? They looked fabulous!! There was only a small quarter size bruise at the bottom of one breast, though they were still swollen, they were not humongous, and were not sitting so high up on my chest which is very common after surgery. They still gave me a band to wear above my breast to help push them down even more into the pockets that were made during surgery. Stitches came out without pain and so did my pain pump, which I highly do not recommend. Did not do a thing for me or my neighbor, come to find out. Now all I needed to do was still take it easy ~ no lifting, vacuuming, driving and continue to take care of my incisions as they healed. I felt great and finally had the nice curvy, womanly body I had always dreamed of.

Now over five years later I still love my breasts and so does my hubby and I have enjoyed filling out my clothes properly. Not many people even noticed the change. I looked natural in my new size. I have no regrets, and I know that they are not lifetime devices, and eventually I will have to have surgery again. Now I know what to expect with recovery, and maybe I'll be able to manage my pain better next time. If you are considering augmentation yourself, research it well. Talk to others about their experience and their surgeons. Ask the surgeon your considering lots of questions, and make sure they are fully accredited by the American Board of Plastic Surgeons and belong to American Society of Plastic Surgeons and American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. It's a very personally journey ~ there are many risks, and everyone experience is different.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Really? I'm Getting Old?

Ah ~ A Young 26

I've been making progress on the mud room and unpacked about 5 boxes or so just within the last couple of days and will be working on some more hopefully today if I can get to it after my chores.

One of the boxes I unpacked had all of our photo's in it and it was like Christmas here in the cabin! I LOVE looking at photo's and not just my own, but my friends and anyone else who'll share. So my sweet hubby and I spent the afternoon looking back on all our memories. Us when we started dating, hanging out with friends BK ( before kids) and enjoying adult spirits, of our wedding day, and then many of our boys ~ their births, first years, birthdays, and holidays! It was like visiting with an old dear friend and my hubby was so sweet to play along, though I know by the end he was getting a little bored. Thanks for bearing with it babe. But then the sad part started to kick in and has lingered around ~ sad being, man am I getting OLD! Inside I still feel 26, but when I have a chance to really look in the mirror I do not look it. But today I'm going to kick that sad right back! To heck with you! I may look old, but that's because I'm soon to be 38, and I've had some really great and not so great times during those soon to be 38 years. I've made some really great friends through those years and happy to say the ones who are important to me are still with me. I've fallen in love and married my best friend and have made it through the good and the bad, and he still makes me laugh like no other. I've made, carried, and given birth to two beautiful boys who like to push me to the very end of my rope, but also shower me with sweet kindness and love. I've had loved ones die, that cause my heart to break, but then have healed by prayer, and wonderful memories. So with every wrinkle, failing eyesight, sagging skin, and scars I'm now going to wear them with pride because "Heck yeah", I'm growing old and I hope to add some more wrinkles to my collection and keep enjoying life!

The Look of a Life Well Lived So Far